What makes us girls (or) Marlene
by Julie London
Summary: "Just so you know," said Marlene and paused for a second, to analyze Lily and to make sure that the message hit home. "What happens at James's...let's just keep it between us, alright?" - A collection of moments in the life of Marlene and Lily, particularly of the summer before their seventh year. Warnings: drug use and adult themes, but nothing explicit. L/J & S/M.
1. Part I

A/N: This is just a plot bunny I had to get out of my head. The story follows Lily and Marlene throughout their summer at Godric's Hollow. It's rated M because it contains adult themes - swearing, drugs, implied sex. The chapters won't be too long, only snippets of their summer; but they _are _related and they are not random scenes.

This was inspired by Lana del Rey's song "This is what makes us girls", so you get a better idea of what's coming.

Hope you enjoy!

~ Julie

* * *

What makes us girls

or

Marlene

(Part I)

Long legs, small frame and blond, silky, beautiful hair. Selfish, stubborn and haughty; yet sometimes secretly tender, with little gestures of kindness and even love. She was a Gryffindor, but could easily be mistaken for a Slytherin. Marlene was a puzzle that - no matter how hard you tried - just couldn't be put together. That's why Lily had been so hesitant to accept her friendship after Snape's incident. She had been so alone and Marlene seemed to be the only one that noticed, and the only one that dared to approach her - the mudblood - and talk to her. Initially their conversations were polite - about school and the weather. But then, as sixth year went by, they became closer and Lily told Marlene about her jealous sister, the financial problems at home, why she had gotten along so well with Snape and so many, many things. And Marlene told Lily about her own family. How her mother had been practically disowned, because she had publicly admitted her opposition to Voldermort; how James and she had been friends since they were babies - Marlene was literally born one day after him - and all the wicked things they would do during their birthdays.

Marlene found in Lily the girl friend she had been lacking of for six years, and Lily found in Marlene the friend she had been lacking of.

And Lily had also hesitated when Marlene invited her to spend a few weeks at her house during the summer before their seventh year. Because Lily knew that summer for Marlene meant spending a lot - really a lot - of time at the Potter's, with James and Sirius. She was, after all, their neighbour. But Marlene had insisted and reminded her that she was getting along much better with James - which was true - and that those were their last Hogwarts holidays. So Lily accepted the offer.

"Just so you know," said Marlene and paused for a second, to analyze Lily and to make sure that the message hit home. "What happens at James's...let's just keep it between us, alright?"


	2. Part II

(Part II)

Lily had always known that James was wealthy - James himself made sure that the entire population of Hogwarts knew. But she always thought he was exaggerating, that he was dramatizing - like he always did. Turns out he wasn't. James Potter lived in a fucking mansion. According to the house-elves that received them, Potter Manor had twelve bedrooms and six bathrooms, a garden with a large pool and a big, green, rich forest surrounding the house. They even had their own little Quidditch field so _Mr. James_ could practice during school breaks.

"Excuse them," smiled Marlene as she pointed at the house-elves. "They like to brag in front of new guests."

"It's...it's alright," stuttered Lily as she glanced around the entrance hall, which was twice as big as her own house.

"Lily!" cried someone from the stairs. "You came!"

"Hi Dorcas," smiled Lily timidly.

Marlene and Dorcas were very close, Lily knew. She was not sure, but they were related somehow. Dorcas was a Hufflepuff, so the times on which Lily and Dorcas could interact were quite limited. But Lily liked Dorcas, even though she had a tendency to seek after Marlene's approval and attention all the time. It could be annoying sometimes; but Dorcas was a sweet and insecure girl, so Lily understood her behaviour.

"The boys are outside," Dorcas informed. "You should change into your swimsuits, the day is so lovely."

(to be continued)


	3. Part III

(Part III)

When Marlene showed Lily the room she would be occupying on the first floor, she almost fainted. It was so big and luxurious that Lily thought she was dreaming - but no. She changed into her swimsuit, which was a pine-green one piece with a polka dot print, and then put on a pair of jean shorts and a white tank top.

She met Marlene again down the hall, by the stairs, and was shocked to find her wearing a white crochet bikini, that was so, so small. Marlene was casually lying against the stairs barrels, with one hand on her hip and the other lazily hanging on her side. She was beautiful, so perfectly beautiful that - for the first time - Lily felt self-conscious of her own body.

"Ready?" she asked.

(to be continued)


	4. Part IV

(Part IV)

Long legs, small frame and blond, silky, beautiful hair. Selfish, stubborn and haughty; yet sometimes secretly tender, with little gestures of kindness and even love. She was a Gryffindor, but could easily be mistaken for a Slytherin.

The more Lily observed, the less she understood. How could one person hold all the beauty of the world? How could someone say so much, speak so loudly, without even opening their mouths? She was like an open book, that told a thousand different stories; one for each reader. She was a chameleon; she was whatever you wanted her to be - sweet, hot, dangerous, daring and even boring.

Dorcas sighed next to Lily, who realized that she wasn't the only one staring.

Sirius grunted next to Lily, who realized that she wasn't the only one puzzled.

Marlene was by the edge of the pool, talking to James about something. They were laughing, clearly having the best of times - alone. The both of them were beautiful - different kinds of beautiful. She was perfectly beautiful and he was messily and childishly beautiful.

Yes, James Potter was funny, smart and beautiful. It was about time that Lily faced the facts.

(to be continued)


	5. Part V

(Part V)

"Dorea!" cried Marlene as she stepped out of the pool. "I'm so glad to see you!"

"Marlene, dear!" replied James's mother, who had just approached the group of teens. She gave his son a pointed look before adding, "so beautiful as always!"

"Thank you! Are you and Charlus attending the Prewett's tea party this evening?" asked Marlene.

"Absolutely. In fact, I'm heading to your house to meet your mother, so we can get ready together," replied Dorea.

"She bought the most fantastic dressrobes for today," said Marlene excitedly.

"Yes, she mentioned something," laughed Dorea. She waved at the rest of the group as she walked back to the house, "see you all later, kids. Have fun!"

Soon, Dorea and Charlus Potter were out of sight.

"Time to take the stuff out?" asked Marlene - left eyebrow raised and mischievous grin on her face.

"Be right back," said Sirius and he hurriedly headed towards the house.

"What stuff?" asked Lily to no one in particular.

"You don't want to know," replied Dorcas.

Lily was completely lost and her face must have shown this, because Dorcas looked amused.

"That was my reaction last year," she said. "Marlene calls it _fun stuff_, but it's just firewhiskey and some joints."

"Oh," Lily frowned. "I don't -"

"It's ok. I didn't either," laughed Dorcas.

(to be continued)


	6. Part VI

(Part V)

"Us, rich kids, are so fucked up," Marlene laughed bitterly as she passed the cigarette to James.

"Speak for yourself, McKinnon," he replied as he took a drag and blew the smoke right in front of her face.

"Tosser," Marlene said as she breathed in the smoke James had just exhaled. He smirked at her and then shook his head.

"You are such a brat," he laughed.

"But a pretty one, right?" she grinned.

James took another drag before replying, "of course."

"Are you two done flirting?" grunted Sirius. "Please pass the fag."

"Chill, mate," said James as he smoked the cigarette once more and passed it to Sirius. "Why in such a hurry? We have plenty."

"Yeah," agreed Marlene. "You've been in a foul mood since Monday."

"Just by the time you arrived. What a coincidence, huh?" replied Sirius as he started to smoke the cigarette.

She opened her mouth, as if she had the intention to say something, but closed it quickly and simply looked away.

"What?" asked Sirius. "Say it."

"Fuck you."

(to be continued)


	7. Part VII

(Part VI)

Marlene and Dorcas were very close, Lily knew. She was not sure, but they were related somehow. Dorcas was a Hufflepuff, so the times on which Lily and Dorcas could interact were quite limited. But Lily liked Dorcas, even though she had a tendency to seek after Marlene's approval and attention all the time. It could be annoying sometimes; but Dorcas was a sweet and insecure girl, so Lily understood her behaviour.

"I'm never drinking again," cried Dorcas as she gripped the toilette and threw up for the third time.

"It's ok, Dee. Just relax," said Lily calmly, as she pulled back Dorcas's black hair.

"I have to go home tomorrow. My parents can't see me like this," whined Dorcas.

"They won't. You'll be fine after you get some sleep," replied Lily.

"Where's Marly?" asked Dorcas.

"I don't know," whispered Lily. "But I'm sure she'll be here soon."

"Yeah," sighed Dorcas as she hovered over the toilette.

(to be continued)


	8. Part VIII

Part VIII

Long legs, small frame and blond, silky, beautiful hair. Selfish, stubborn and haughty; yet sometimes secretly tender, with little gestures of kindness and even love. She was a Gryffindor, but could easily be mistaken for a Slytherin.

Small, round and pouty lips; blue eyes and a delicate nose. She was so tall - so endless - that you never stopped looking at her. And the fact that she was so enticing, alluring, seductive and a thousand other things didn't help. She was performing - with that bloody white crochet bikini - and they were her audience.

"Come on, Jimmy!" she cried from the edge of the pool. "You can't possibly tell me you are afraid?"

He raised one eyebrow as he approached her.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you!" she laughed as she playfully pushed him with both hands; but he was quick and as her palms landed on his chest, he caught her hands by the wrists and - in one swift movement - pulled her closer.

"Are you calling James Potter a coward?" he smirked.

And then, everything happened in slow motion. She looked at his lips and her hands moved upwards and landed on his neck and Lily's heart stopped beating and suddenly - like heavenly music - came Sirius's voice from inside the house.

"Prongs! Your parent's are leaving and they want to say goodbye!"

Marlene grinned at James and let him go.

"Tell them I wish them a safe trip!" she cried after him.

(to be continued)


	9. Part IX

(Part IX)

Lily had never gotten drunk, until today. Lily had never gotten high, until today. For a little while, she felt like Marlene - careless and wild and crazy, inside out. For a little while, she wanted to push the limits and try new things, be different and spoiled, stubborn, rich - like them.

"Let's play a game," she proposed to the group as they lay lazily on the grass. Marlene was sitting right in front of her, with Sirius's head on her lap; next to Sirius was James, gazing up at the sky as he finished the joint.

"A game?" asked James. "What type of game?"

"I don't know," replied Lily. "You are the experts here."

Marlene smiled wickedly and rudely pushed Sirius off her lap as she stood up.

"Oi!" he protested.

"I have an idea," said Marlene.

"Please, don't say strip poker," said James.

"Of course not, we are not thirteen anymore," she rolled her eyes. "Let's play hide and seek."

"Oh, because that is so mature," snorted Sirius.

"Shut up, Black," she snapped. "I'm talking about a different hide and seek."

"Let's just play strip poker," sighed Sirius.

"Let's hide in the woods," grinned Marlene.

"Hold on a second," replied James, who seemed to sober up rapidly and stood up. "We can't go in there, it's dangerous."

"I know," she smirked. As she walked towards the forest, her long hair graciously swayed behind her, the excitement in those ocean-blue eyes lit the vast garden and her hips moved slowly under that red summer dress - left, right, left.

"What are the rules?" asked James and Sirius at the same time - their mouths opened and their eyes hungry.

She tilted her head back and laughed loudly.

"There aren't."

(to be continued)


	10. Part X

(Part X)

The times on which Lily and Marlene were alone were more than limited, specially during the nights. But tonight the boys were gone - they didn't specify where and for how long - so Lily and Marlene had decided to stay at the McKinnon's for a change.

Marlene was showing Lily her large wardrobe, when a picture of a young James and Marlene caught Lily's attention.

"You and James are very close, right?" asked Lily timidly as she neared Marlene's wardrobe and pretended to check a lilac dressrobe.

"Yes. We grew up together," replied Marlene nonchalantly.

"Are...are you two...an item?" Lily took the dressrobe off the hanger.

"No. No we are not," replied Marlene. She sounded sincere and - strangely - serious. Marlene could read underneath Lily's words, could see beneath her forced indifference and saw the hidden interest on James's love life - not Marlene's.

"Oh. Ok, then. I just thought...nevermind," said Lily.

"We fuck, but we are not an item."

The words rolled out of Marlene's mouth so effortlessly, but to Lily they sounded like sharp, pointy fingernails furiously scratching a blackboard. Yet, Lily was somewhat content with the answer - they fucked, but they were not an _item_. She tried to divert the subject of the conversation.

"This is a beautiful dress," she said.

She didn't want to analyze it too much.

(to be continued)


	11. Part XI

(Part XI)

She didn't want to analyze it too much.

But she couldn't.

Because Marlene and James shared a whole past that Lily wasn't aware of. Truth be told, it didn't really matter what they did or didn't do. Marlene's confession forced Lily to understand that Potter did have a life, that he was not limited to simply asking her out or goofing around with his friends. All of them - Sirius, Remus, Dorcas, Marlene, James - shared a lot of memories, laughs and secrets. They were friends - real friends - like Severus and Lily, once upon a time. But their connection was a lot deeper and more solid than Severus's and hers.

Marlene had also confessed that Dorcas was seeing Remus as well, that Dorcas used to be Sirius's girl but then they got bored and stopped seeing each other. But Sirius was not upset, had said Marlene; in fact, he was the one who forced them to hook up.

And Lily was left speechless at this. She tried to understand them and, somewhat, she thought she did. These kids shared more than memories and a few wild nights. They trusted on each other - so, so much - that they even shared their own flesh, their bodies and hearts. Because Marlene would never hurt James. James would never hurt Marlene and Sirius would never hurt Dorcas. And Dorcas would never hurt Remus and... they would never call each other mudbloods and they would never leave each other's side.

So she was curious now. Because she couldn't understand how James Potter was part of this. How could Potter - a bully, a toerag, an annoying little prat - be so...interesting?

(to be continued)


	12. Part XII

(Part XII)

"Us, rich kids, are so fucked up," said Marlene; mascara running down her cheeks and her chest shook rapidly.

"So, so fucked up," she sobbed.

"Take that shit off her hands, Pads," said James sternly. He was - as usual - lying down on the grass and staring at the sky, but the desperation in Marlene's voice forced him to sit up.

"Come on, Marly," said Sirius as he removed the firewhisky bottle from her grasp. "Give me that."

"No," she whispered, but let him take it anyway. "I'm thirsty, Sirius."

She crawled towards him and threw herself at him, in an attempt to recover the bottle.

"You've had enough," he replied. "Come on, let's go inside."

He helped her to stand up and gently placed his arm around her shoulders. They walked towards the Manor, headed to the stairs and into her room.

(to be continued)


	13. Part XIII

(Part XIII)

"I hate it when she gets so pissed," said James.

"Is this...normal?" asked Lily timidly. "Does she always cry when she drinks too much?"

"Not always," replied James. "Only when something's bothering her."

"Oh, there's something upsetting her, then?"

"I think so. I'm not entirely sure," said James. "She doesn't really talk about it, but I can tell."

"About what?" asked Lily.

"Sirius," replied James.

(to be continued)


	14. Part XIV

(Part XIV)

"Here you are," Sirius said softly as he sat Marlene on the bed.

"I don't want to be here," she mumbled. "Why did you bring me here?"

"Because you are acting like a brat," he replied and kneeled in front of her, so he could easily remove her shoes.

"Why are you so mean to me all the time?" she whined and batted her feet in front of his face.

"Because you act like a brat," he laughed.

"Don't laugh at me!" she scowled.

"Come on, Marly. Just rest now," he grabbed her feet and gently place them on the bed so she would lie down and - hopefully - sleep.

"Wait!" she caught his hand before he left her side. "I need help to get into my nightgown."

(to be continued)


	15. Part XV

(Part XV)

"I don't like Marlene," said James bluntly.

Lily looked at him surprised, completely caught off guard by his confession.

"Oh," she blushed.

"Just..thought you should know," he was embarrassed. For some stupid reason, he thought that she would be interested in his love life; he thought she should know - what an idiot.

He knew that his relationship with Marlene was...weird. He cared about Marlene - a lot - but as a friend. They were young and reckless, and shared that constant, stupid feeling of being misunderstood by the world. It was a very strong bond, hard to understand, unique - but it was not love. He needed Lily to know that.

"Yeah. I should," she replied, not daring to look into his eyes.

(to be continued)


	16. Part XVI

(Part XVI)

She sat up slowly - painfully slow. He couldn't stop staring at her; every move she made, even in her drunken state, was captivating and gracious. Before he even knew what was going on, his hands were undoing the tiny buttons of her dress and pulling down its thin straps.

He made sure to caress every inch of her skin, from her chest to her waist - painfully slow. She sighed and closed her eyes.

"Where's your nightgown?" he asked in a feeble attempt to reason; because they were drunk, which was the only reason why this was happening.

"Does it matter?" she whispered.

"It might matter to James," he replied; because Marlene was James's girl. They were always flirting and laughing and so _together_ - born together, raised together and probably would die together.

"It doesn't matter to me," she answered and her eyes were pleading - half-opened, longing and blue.

And he couldn't hold it anymore.

(to be continued)


	17. Part XVII

(Part XVII)

"Why do you never look at me?" asked James after noticing that - once more - she was avoiding his gaze.

"What? I do look at you," she replied.

"No you don't."

He moved closer, because he needed the eye contact, to feel that there was _something_ connecting them. She had just said that she should know that he didn't like Marlene, which was the closest to a romantic moment they had ever been.

"You are still not looking at me, Lily," he said sadly. "Did I do something?"

He placed his hand on her chin and forced her to look up. Their eyes met and everything became a blur. His hands, his eyes - so gentle, so _James_.

And she couldn't hold it anymore.

(to be continued)


	18. Part XVIII

(Part XVIII)

Sirius and Marlene were complicated - for different reasons - but complicated nonetheless. They were stubborn, beautiful, rich, wicked and had a strong craving for attention. They were Gryffindors that could be easily mistaken for Slytherins.

And they hated it.

She hated his guts, the way he walked through the hallways thinking that he owned Hogwarts. He thought he was the king of the school and the rest of the students, his servants.

He hated her guts too, the way she walked through the hallways thinking that she owned Hogwarts. She thought she was the queen of the school and the rest of the students, her servants.

She hated that she saw herself in him and he hated that he saw himself in her, too.

But when two people kiss, they are blind, defenceless and careless. They don't think; there is no rationality and the world stops moving. The only real thing are their own bodies against each other, their lips crashing and the need for more. For Sirius and Marlene it was this and much more. Their walls were crumbling and theirs crowns, falling.

They felt the understanding and the comfort that can only be provided by someone who truly knows you and wants you and feels _you_. They had finally found what they had been secretly looking for without even realizing it. Alcohol wasn't guiding them anymore; it was them. It had always been them - the fighting, the insults, the passion.

Marlene didn't want to stop kissing Sirius, and he didn't want to stop either.

So they didn't.

(to be continued)


	19. Part XIX

(Part XIX)

Lily and James were simple. They liked to think they were complicated and that their relationship would never work. They fought all the time and they couldn't possibly be more different. But in reality they were simple; different - yes - but equally simple.

He was able to read her through those emerald eyes, because she was so transparent and natural. She was able to read him too, but through his gestures; because he was genuine and because he was _James_.

_James _was all she needed. _Lily _was all he needed.

Their kiss implied no realization, no walls crumbling, no guards falling. It was not dramatic and it didn't reveal their deepest needs and desires. Because they were simple and transparent and they were just doing what they wanted to do, when they wanted to, with whom they wanted.

Unlike Sirius and Marlene, James and Lily weren't afraid of _feeling_, of completely losing their heads for someone. They were falling and they didn't want to stop.

So they didn't.

(the end)

* * *

A/N: Thank you all for reading! I seriously can't believe how many views this has, so - really - thank you. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Until next time folks!


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